Mother’s Day and Mixed Emotions

Mother’s Day is a day often anticipated and celebrated by many, but for some women, this holiday brings with it a quiet storm of complex emotions: grief, guilt, longing, resentment, and loneliness.

Whether you're mourning the loss of a mother, navigating a strained relationship, or struggling with motherhood yourself, your feelings are valid. And you’re not alone.

We acknowledge the full emotional spectrum of Mother’s Day, so here are some gentle ways to cope.

For Those Grieving a Mother or Child

Grief doesn’t pause for holidays. In fact, it can be most intense on days meant for celebration.

You might be feeling:

• A painful absence where someone should be

• A longing for one more day with a loved one

• A sense of disconnection from the celebrations around you

Ways to cope:

• Grieve healthily: Light a candle, write a letter, or visit a meaningful place to honor your mother or child.

• Take time to remember them: If you feel comfortable, share stories about them with a trusted friend or professional.

• Let yourself feel: You don’t have to smile through it. Allow the tears, the memories, the ache.

For Those Navigating Estrangement

Estrangement from a mother or child can bring a deep, often invisible kind of grief.

You might be feeling:

• Conflicted: anger mixed with love, or sadness with relief

• Isolated from cultural narratives of “ideal” family relationships

• Unseen, especially if others assume everything is “normal”

Ways to cope:

• Release the pressure to perform: You’re not obligated to reach out, buy a card, or explain your choices.

• Reclaim the day: Use the time for self-nurturing. What would taking care of yourself today look like?

• Seek support: Professionals can offer a safe space to process complicated feelings and long-term impacts of family dysfunction.

For Mothers Feeling Guilt or Disappointment

If you’re a mother, this day might trigger guilt over what you didn’t do, or pain from feeling under appreciated.

You might be feeling:

• Disconnected from your children

• Judged by internal or external standards

• Sadness from unmet expectations

Ways to cope:

• Challenge perfectionism: Good mothers make mistakes. Good mothers feel pain. You are enough.

• Set boundaries: If being celebrated isn’t happening the way you hoped, express your needs or simplify the day.

• Celebrate yourself: Write yourself a Mother’s Day card or do something meaningful just for you.

You’re Allowed to Feel It All

Mother’s Day isn’t only about joy and gratitude, it can also be about survival, reflection, and managing emotional complexity. It’s okay to love and grieve at the same time. To celebrate one relationship while mourning another.

Gentle Reminders for Each Day:

• Unfollow or mute triggering social media content.

• Say “no” to events or conversations that feel emotionally unsafe.

• Lean on support: a friend, a mental health professional, or a trusted community.

• Practice grace with yourself. Healing doesn’t follow a calendar.

If you’re struggling this Mother’s Day, we’re here for you. You are not alone, and you are allowed to feel everything.